We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started, And know the place for the first time. ~T.S. Eliot Four Quartets

14 April 2008

One part completed

We have received what appears to be one part of the referral help that my son is expected to receive. This came in the form of Behaviour & Attendance Mainstream Programmes, which means my son will have a key worker helping him in school, at least I think so. We have the follow-up visit with the Psychiatrist this week, who has said that my son should definitely have a statement. I know this is good news as it means helping him in school, but I couldn't help feeling a twinge of despair as I read this letter.

I never thought that I'd have a child labelled with 'behavioural problems'. I find it distressing a bit, as most other parents would view this as a parental failure on our part, and probably an intelligence issue on my son's part. But this is not the case. In fact last week he received the head teacher's award for maths performance. This was so pleasing as my son has been saying that he can't do maths, when in fact, according to his teacher, he's quite skilled at it. I picked up How to help your autistic spectrum child by Jackie Brealy and Beverly Davies at the library this weekend, and have found it pretty helpful. I found I could especially relate to the statement "A lot of parents get stuck into the trap of trying to make thier child behave in a 'normal' way, rather than trying to understand what the problems are". I am working on that, on trying to function according to our internal compasses and seeing my son as the unique individual he is, without letting the outside judgements and labels get in the way.

I'd also like to thank Inspiration Alley for commenting about the issues we are facing, and I will be reading her blog alot this month, as it is Autism awareness month, and many folks are blogging each day this month about it. I'm not up to that task, but I am definitely interested in reading and learning more, and this in one of the situations where the internet is so helpful, so easy to share and learn from experiences, instead of having to muddle through alone.

1 comment:

Inspiration Alley said...

Hi Mary
I would agree whole heartedly with the statement that a lot of parents get trapped into trying to make their child behave in a normal way. In my experience it only increases the stress on the child because an inability to adapt is to a large extent part and parcel of being Autistic. The behaviour is usually in response to an external factor. Ashleigh's biggest strides forward have been when we've both understood what's causing the difficulties and dealt with the cause. This usually brings about an ability to behave in a more "normal " (although I hate that phraseology I can't think of a better way of putting it)manner naturally.

You sound like a great mum and your son is very lucky to have you advocating for him.