Spiritual Compass

Sometimes in my daily life I feel as if I've strayed away from my ideals, or perhaps have gotten weighed down in the mundane and need a refresher, a reminder of the bigger picture. For me the bigger picture is one viewed through my lens of my buddhist understanding and my desire to live a fruitful and peaceful life. This book by Satish Kumar (editor of Resurgence magazine) is a wonderful and gentle read (probably due to the fact he has been a monk), and while it poses tough questions it also provides some answers for that as well, through his eleven points of action.

The main idea of the book is about cultivating the 'three qualities of life' for which he uses the Indian Ayurvedic tradition to illustrate. Like buddhism, Ayurveda describes qualities of mind, three qualities, that influence our entire lives. Sattva, the highest, most desired quality, is about calmness, clarity and purity. The middle quality is Rajas which encompasses passion and energy, and then there's Tamas, which encompasses dullness and ignorance. One can view the entire world through these three gunas, from food (spicy being more rajasic), to housing (concrete ugly buildings being tamasic) to people-- most of whom encompass at least two if not all three qualities at some level. Seeing in this way, we can then seek to balance those qualities in ourselves and in our surroundings, aiming for a more sattvic (peaceful) existence, rather than a tamasic (poisonous) one.

One of the main issues is that of poverty, hunger and food. I often find myself wishing to go back to nature, or living more self-sustaining, and yet at the moment that is just not a possibility. For one thing, we live in a flat, with no garden, no place to grow enough to sustain us. All the nearby allotments are taken, and there is a waiting list.

This is a point raised very articulately in the book, that poverty is not a natural phenomenon. No other animal is denied food and water from the earth-- nor made to pay for it. Why have we done this to ourselves? No other animal claims ownership. Sure they probably all mark out some territory, but in the end, their needs are met by nature (unless we've put them into a zoo that is). If we wish to become self-sustaining, we still need to buy the land to do that, we can't just pack up and head for the hills, as they'd belong to someone, or the government perhaps.

Here in England there are so many small terraced homes without gardens, in fact the same in any urban area, so a great majority of people would be stuck without any means to feed themselves should the whole commercial structure collapse.

Satish talks about the point of return, meaning we all need to take a step back, to try and live simpler lives. I have many grateful days when I truly appreciate the things I do have. I am happy to have money to buy food and have a roof over my head. But when I think deeper about what life used to be like, I wonder whether we are really 'evolved' at all. Just looking at the bread sitting inside a plastic bag brought a strange realisation of the artificiality of our lives. I took this book out the library, but it is certainly the type of book I'd consider buying to keep to refer to again and again, for when pessimism (tamasic) takes over, or you lose sight of the bigger picture.

Life in the slow lane

Since its national downshifting week I thought I'd write about what that means in my life, tying to live more simply with less stress. It's probably impossible to eliminate all stress from your life, and some stress is probably healthy and necessary. Moving back to England in 2004, was a major change as I was now staying at home, while my husband went to work. Having always been a somewhat compulsive 'doer', working since I was 16, this was a challenge. Being a mother and staying at home with kids requires more 'being'. Sure, there is doing to be done, lots of it, but not the same doing as going out into the marketplace.

Being, is alot harder than it sounds. Its the whole point of meditation, learning to be in the present moment. I have often thought that up until now, most of my life was about developing my ego, working to satisfy that. Having children has made me realise (along with my buddhist beliefs) that my ego is no longer important. Not that I am not important. But my main drive is no longer just about promoting myself, and I am comfortable with that. Its like listening more in a conversation rather than having to get your own point across..i.e. you are here, but you don't feel the need to prove it. {ok, ok I know the blog thing is promoting myself!!}

Raising my kids can be seen as some measure of ego, but I try and not impose any plans on them, other than to support them in developing into good, honest, loving people. I'm pretty satisfied with the life I've lived thus far, so there shouldn't be any of the 'trying to make them what I'm not' sort of thing.

Living semi-rurally without a car has slowed me down tremendously. I seem to live slower over here anyway.. even in Edinburgh (pre-kids), it still felt slower than America. Chicago is my home town, but having gone and returned I have noticed the feeling of underlying anxiety & tension in me, when living there. Perhaps its the constant hum of a big city, but it never disappeared even with meditation and acupuncture and other relaxation methods. I have a feeling though, that living in the country will cause me to become even more sensitive to this, so that when visiting chicago again, I may be overwhelmed, but we'll see.

Living at home with kids and on a limited income has given me time to express my creative side, which I found very difficult to do while being a workaholic. I have been able to assess my life skills a bit more, and rediscover & develop past interests skills. Cooking meals everyday, slow food, is also a great pleasure.

I realise its not possible for everyone to live in the same way, and some people say they 'have to work' to survive. Work can be good, work is love made visible (I have forgotton who said that, sorry) and it can be done with or without monetary compensation. Learning to reduce, re-use and consume less, helps in extending the money that does come in. Somewhere along the line I asked for these lessons about frugality and I am learning them slowly (as my husband likes to point out, it takes time to de-program the american dream). I'm not saying though that frugality equals deprivation.

The BBC reported that the average UK household spends more money per week on booze than on fruit and veg --is that related to dissatisfied lives? Well we don't, but a good portion of our budget goes on food (compared to any other 'luxuries') and yet we still spend less on average for a family of four. Our weekly spend on groceries hovers around £60. Not buying a lot of processed foods brings down the bill, while keeping us healthy. Buying the 'smart saver' or generic store brand also saves money and can even be a healthier option. The generic rice snaps cereal I buy from Tesco actually has less sugar in it than tesco's own brand and the big name brand. For some I suppose this would mean less flavour! but for a health conscious mum it means less sugar in the kids diet. I always read the labels and there are some brands I will never buy -see here.

Not waiting in vain..

Baby is asleep... do I shower, do I eat, or do I write??
Well, here's the answer, and aren't you glad you're somewhere else?? well, I'll shower later...

I've relaxed into this business plan.. its not going to be completed in a week, maybe not even a month.. but it will be completed as it evolves, as it comes to life, bit by bit. I'm finding inspiration in waiting, not something I've ever been that good at. I have patience yes, but I also have a strong will (control issues?!).. carrying on from my hibernation dreaming, I know that things do, in fact, slow down somewhat at this time of year. Real estate sales always slow down, people don't want to move so much in the dead of winter, and they have less money after the holiday splash out. But as we inch toward spring, things come back to life, energy is reinvigorated and new ideas start flowing.

I've been concerned with authentic living for a few years now, my own mainly, but would like to see the world follow. Authentic meaning, living from your heart, against the grain if need be. I've just read something that made me think about living a 'beautiful' life. Imagine (again..) that your life is an art museum and you are the curator, and its your job to collect beautiful works, perhaps even restore less than cared for works, and share them with the world.. In our lives its not all about material things and outward beauty, but the enjoyment of life which brings out the shining beauty within. Its not just the collection, but rather how it is displayed.

When money is not an issue we can afford to buy beautiful things, but then when things come too easily, we don't learn the lessons that delayed gratification can teach us. And we don't take the time to create the beauty, to carefully restore something with great detail, or appreciate that which we already have.

I have a friend who seems to have good house karma.. she doesn't own her own, but has been the housesitter, watcher, inhabitor of many gorgeous places in the seven or so years that I've known her. She is at 'home' in many places. I always thought of her as having a 'beautiful' life..don't know if she'd agree to that, but I see it as beautiful because there's a sense of grace, and it always seems to provide her with comfort, in that respect. I have been similarly blessed with good housing (a basic need, no?), whether I 'own' it or not. I have not always seen it in that light though. That is probably why these past two years have been an exercise in living with less, or learning what it is that I can live without, and doing it with grace.

In the book Simple Abundance by Sara Ban Breathnach, she says

When you learn what you can live without, you are able to ask life for the very best because you posess the gift of discernment. You develop patience that enables you to wait gracefully and gratefully until the best arrives because you know it will. You are able to create an authentic life for yourself and those you love because you are able to make conscious choices.

That's it for me really.

The magic goes on forever

After a few heavy days the cloud seems to be lifting and we are all feeling more positive once again. I felt really inspired after reading the latest blog entry by Veronika Robinson, editor of The Mother Magazine. She was talking about the magic of manifestation and visualising the future that you want (this is what she tells her children). She is passionate about natural family living, and even though she is not in my immediate community, it is heartening to know that people like her are out there!

I am happy that one of my articles will be appearing in her magazine next year.. within a global (virtual, I suppose) community of like minded folks who trust in the universe to take care of us and provide what we need. I find I sometimes need reminding of this, especially after a weekend like the one I just had.

Its easy to get down when things are not forthcoming, things that you thought were right for you. I also find it hard not having anyone nearby (aside from hubby) that really shares my vision or attitude toward life. Money is certainly important, but it can be challenging to live simply and trust in 'the Tao' when you are surrounded by those who view outward material manifestations of success as more important than living authentically or in the flow. I don't want to be judgemental though, as I really do feel we are all doing the best we can at any given moment. How can we not be? The magic goes on forever is inscribed on a hand-made ring from the Isle of Skye, a place where I found lots of magic many years ago. It dug its way out of a box today to enlighten me!

Doing too much--and boredom...

Will someone please tell my son that boredom is truly a luxury!
Granted, he doesn’t say that he’s bored too often.. He’s only six and hasn’t cottoned on yet to that annoying of all overused adolescent phrases. However, since he could not use the computer today, he’s said he’s bored!

Starting this blog, trying to learn some basic html, working through my creative writing course, reading, writing ,and thinking (when I can hear myself!) , and all my mothering duties leave me no space for boredom. When people ask a stay-at-home mum “what do you do all day?” Watch out--that is if you really do want to know the answer. But I can’t really complain because I just came across a blog of a mother of seven!! www.notesfromthetrenches.com and it is inspiring. I plan to add it to my links as soon as I figure that out.

I’ve found that lately, even though I’ve been graced with a few minor epiphanies, sometimes, its all too much and I think why couldn’t I have thought of some of this earlier in life, or spread it out more evenly through the years? But it doesn’t work like that and half the technology didn’t exist then anyway. It seems to be wired into our brains to constantly try and do too much… Too much ‘doing’ all the time is stressful, and can also leave little room for new ideas to enter. Becoming a mother in a way has allowed me more time to ‘be’. Not that I don’t do a lot , but in the realm of worldly pursuits, I’ve chosen to retreat to the home space. Home space for many of us is where we renew and recharge our batteries. I recently read this in a book about the Quaker movement, Listening to the Light by Jim Pym:

Every stage of our lives offers fresh opportunities. Responding to divine guidance try to discern the right time to undertake or relinquish responsibilities without undue pride or guilt. Attend to what love requires of you, which may not be great busyness.

The thing that struck me, was the advice to also consider relinquishing responsibilities when necessary. We always seem to be encouraged to start new things, to seek out, to begin, but what about letting go, ending, stopping? This is not always so straightforward. Attend to what love requires of you. How simple and yet so encompassing.

Love requires me to be present for my children (and that is not always easy). Love may require us to be available for a conversation with our partner, or our friend, or to just listen perhaps. Love may require much more demanding tasks from you as well, as when a loved one is facing death or serious illness. Sometimes busyness leads to carelessness… we just don’t take time ,or feel we have the time, to consider the details, the little things that matter. I have been reminding myself of this a lot lately, since my children seem particularly good at reminding me of the ever-important details. So with that in mind, I may not contribute to this blog as much as I may like to. And now, my son has just put the Beatles on, Let it Be...