Not a manic monday...

Its the start of half-term and how nice it is to not have to rush about (even with plenty of time), making lunch, dressing two kids and getting out the door for school. Life is more relaxed without that imposed schedule, and yet there is still rhythm and routine. Just before the break up there was a parent-teacher night which my husband attended (I'll do the spring one).


We weren't surprised that my son's teacher has noticed that he has some nervous tics, but surprised that she also noted the ways he tries to cope with them in class. She said she feels he draws to control them, many times illustrating the teaching in pictures. Other times though he gets carried away with aliens and monsters. Her own son had some strong tics which she said he grew out of. Its not that uncommon for children to have some sort of tic that they do eventually overcome.


She did say this is the worst class currently in the school, not real encouraging, and despite my son's brightness (reading three years above) he is also disruptive with the noises his tics produce. That combined with many troubled kids and a boy-heavy class means that things aren't likely to change that much. It has made me think that we may have to change schools if we really want my son to benefit. I think he's lost in a lot of the daily chaos and he does have some trouble with 'the bullies' as he puts it. He certainly developed these tics (which seem to rotate as one fades away and a different one starts) since starting school and the anxiety of starting year 3 this term has made them worse.


I'm considering approaching the school about flexi-schooling, which I know some schools are supportive of. That would mean he'd attend three days a week/with two at home, or some other balance of home-ed mixed with school. This seems a good option as he wouldn't give up the things he does enjoy about school, and he'd have a break and more individual attention. Its either that or home education entirely, or a smaller school, but the other nearby school, which is highly rated, is also full at the moment with a waiting list.

Its nearly finished...

Gill at Sometimes Its Peaceful inspired this post, after writing up the transcript of a BBC Radio 5 broadcast about home educating. I still consider myself a home educator, even though my son has attended school this year, and feel it is very likely he will come back home at some point. He just received his end of year report, which was very good, with comments reflecting how 'well he's adjusted to school life', and 'especially having no pre-school experience'. We were chastised when he started last September, since we educated him without preschool/nursery etc. and he didn't want to follow the rules very well. This despite the fact that he was already reading and writing and now has been 'tested' to be reading two and half years above his age. The teacher also told us that he gets bored easily, and the work may not be challenging him, but that he should find year 3 more stimulating. Really??

The fact is though, that I don't think schooling and the national curriculum is the best thing, and it has been hard to justify it to my son, when he doesn't want to do it now either. He did want to experience school, and has enjoyed making some friends, but he finds it 'all wrong' as he says. With 29 kids in the classroom, individual attention is just not possible and my son frequently complains that he is not listened to and not called on, or by the time he is attended to, he's forgotten his question and then is scolded for interrupting! I did have a chance to observe the classroom on Friday at an open day, and it can descend into chaos very quickly. Which is why I'm not suprised that the teacher doesn't observe the kicking and hitting that goes on.

Having been in trouble last week for not listening in the classroom I had a conversation with my son that went something like this: "do you enjoy getting into trouble?" his reply: "yes, sometimes". I was taken aback.."why? negative attention is not going to help you" I started, then he jumped in with " Its because I like the library, its peaceful and I can look at the book titles even though I can't read while I'm there". That was shocking and a bit of a wake up call. When the kids are acting up too much, usually in the lunchtime, but also during class, they will be removed to sit or stand in the library. He would rather be alone than amidst the chaotic classroom. I am under no illusions that my child is an angel that never does anything wrong. I know his stubbornness and 'willfullness' is already causing him (and others) some grief. But I also know that he is bright and kind and full of potential.

How many of us, given the choice now, would carry on at a job where we didn't get along with our co-workers, many of which were bullying us, a boss who overlooked us repeatedly for advancement, and an environment that was cold and depressing where our personal belongings frequently went missing? We'd look for another job and quit just as soon as we could.. unless of course our self-esteem was so low, that we just felt we had to bear it (until we reach the exploding point perhaps). That does seem to be a prevailing sentiment when it comes to school.. how we justify it by telling our kids they have to get through it, to face 'real' life. One of the comments on the radio 5 programme by a listener was that children learn to 'cope' with bullying by going to school. That was the most absurd thing I've heard. More like endure. The image of a battery hen farm came to mind, where the chickens are all penned in together and some are pecking each other to death.

Home educators are repeatedly told that kids need the 'socialisation' of school to learn how to function in life. The fact is though, if we are paying attention, that there are many, many, dysfunctional adults walking about, and I doubt very much that they were all home-educated. Or that we don't know enough or are not trained as teachers are, but no teacher I've met knows 'everything'. Its a question of resourcefulness, and guiding our kids to the right information to learn (and teacher's manuals!). I never claim to know everything-- if anything at all!! Beginners Mind, as zen master Suzuki would say!

My son's school has a very good ofsted report and overall it is a good school as schools go. I know the teacher's value their job and try to do their best. But is it the right place for my child? Can we be assured that this upcoming generation is being nurtured and educated to be whole, compassionate, caring and intelligent human beings? It doesn't look that way. So much comes from home life its true, but handing over our kids for nearly seven hours every day, 35 hours a week away from the family, and from a very early age, if you start when you are supposed to, that's alot of different values and mores absorbed outside the family. Then there's the question of how much of those 35 hours are actually spent actively learning? Many teachers admit that much of the classroom time is taken up with policing the kids rather than teaching. This is why 1 -3 hours of educational activity at home is far more intensive and readily done by the kids, especially if its geared toward thier interests.

If "it takes a village", then where's that village?

It takes a village to raise a child, wasn't that the title of Hillary Clinton's book??
"One in ten children have a mental health disorder to a "clinically significant" level, new research suggests.
Studies carried out by leading children's charity NCH found a 100 per cent increase in the prevalence of emotional problems and conduct disorders among young people since the 1930's" -that was from an ITN news report today about children and education in this country. Naturally, Children's Minister Beverly Hughes disagreed with this finding.

I am increasingly torn about schooling, since my son started last autumn, at age 6.. I had kept him home until then, but when my daughter was born, we felt it was the right time to send him. He hadn't made any friends in the village until he started school (and neither did I!).

I am reluctant to leave the 'community' that I have become a part of since he started school, not knowing whether they will still be there if we decide to revert to our old ways! I found that when I was homeschooling, acquaintances either said very little about it, or managed a supportive sentence or two. When we switched to school, and mentioned our past homeschooling, it became clear that most people didn't think it was a very appropriate path. Not driving, I had a hard time getting out on daytrips and didn't have a really local, active home-ed group. Despite this, now that my son has made friends with local kids, I feel more inclined to bring him back home. He has become increasingly argumentative at home, and somewhat sad too, and he frequently tells me that he doesn't feel the teacher listens to him, especially when he's being picked on. His eating habits have plummeted and there are days when his entire lunch returns home in his lunchbag. He has said they rush the kids at lunchtime, which has been denied by the school, though other parents have felt this to be true.

I have found the teacher and head to be rather defensive, and at times quite dismissive, and his class is frequently left with substitutes, which surely must be disruptive for the routine. I've been browsing about the home-ed sites again, and some new blogs (new to me) like Gill's, looking for inspiration. I find my thoughts saying if we just had a larger house, then it would be better for homeschooling, or what about me going back to work to earn more money, for the larger house, for the homeschooling...

This is a rather small village and I am aware of the fact that we are just now settling in (after nearly two years) and I don't want to exclude ourselves. And yet, I want what's best for my children, never mind what I'm expected to do. Apparently one of my son's classmates was taken out earlier this year, to be homeschooled. He doesn't live in the village though.

I came across a book title on Amazon It Takes The Whole Damn Village by Sandra Barnhouse which made me chuckle for sure, and I may have to buy it! From the book:

"We must close the classrooms, everywhere, public, private, or otherwise. Classrooms are unnatural, artificial places of child apartheid, and hold our society hostage from its potential to make the world better." - Sandra Barnhouse