We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started, And know the place for the first time. ~T.S. Eliot Four Quartets

25 November 2006

Life purpose?

I think I should clarify something I said on a previous post. After reading it again, I thought, it sounded a little too nonchalant. When I said that I didn't need to work, I didn't want to sound independently wealthy or smug even. I'm a long way from either of those. I meant that it was a decision my husband and I made together, that I would stay home with the kids while they were young. We knew that would mean some financial struggle, and it certainly has indeed. With every decision you have to be open to new ideas, new directions and right now it seems we need some of that.

My husband had applied for a job, a career change really, to become a firefighter, something that he has wanted to do for a long time. But previous life decisions led him down a different path, and now, although his heart was in the right place, the position was not, and he didn't get it. Now the question is what are we meant to do? or what is he meant to do? The state of limbo, or in more positive terms, the state of creating is one that I have been getting more acquainted with in the past two years than ever before in my life.

I've just finished another book called "Do less, achieve more" which sounds like an easy way out, but that's not what its about. Its more about living your life's purpose, following the Tao, or the Way. Being in the flow is something that I've come to enjoy and when you know its happening its an even greater thrill. But then there are times like now, when you don't know if you are in the flow, where the flow is, or even if there is a flow..

So I don't know what the next step is, except for carrying on as we have been going, and maybe that's just what's meant to happen.

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