We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started, And know the place for the first time. ~T.S. Eliot Four Quartets

08 November 2007

Birth charts and life plans

With all my recent heavy feelings and unbelievably (even to me) irritable attitude, I have added the Astrologer to the top of my blogroll, so I can read it more daily to gain more understanding. Astrology has been something I've been interested for as long as I can remember, and yet my delving into it has come in dribs and drabs. I have my own internal understanding of it, but have never really sat down to master it.

I mention this as I have been thinking alot about my son's birth chart. We did this when he was born (seven years ago) on Astrodienst and have used books and other more knowledgeable people to interpret it. One of things that I found troubling was that he is going to have major hurdles in his love/relationship sector. We originally thought this might have to do with the fact that he is a Leo Dragon, a very strong personality type, and not everyone's cup of tea. It would seem now though, that it may run deeper than that. In fact, the Leo Dragon may be a blessing as it gives him strength and self-assuredness in the face of what may be a somewhat debilitating condition.

I took him to the doctor today, seeking a referral on the recommendation of his school. Its not a big surprise really, and I am slowly coming to the realisation that we may have been in some denial. He will be meeting with an educational psychology team to determine if/and/or what is wrong and what can be done to help. My feeling is that it could be Asperberger's syndrome. Although he is not severe, it would make some sense as there is someone in the family with this already. We never made the connection before, or if we did, we submerged the thought. It is possible that its a combination of things. I have considered ADHD, which his teacher last year thought might be a possibility, as there are some elements of that. From what I've read, ADHD often can occur alongside something like Aspergers. It also affects boys at a rate of 10:1.

I believe we unspokenly resisted the idea of an assessment for a long time. We didn't want 'labels' and restrictions or drugs. And who wants to think of their child as having a problem anyway? Over the weekend though, my son came in from playing at the park and was in tears, which he was trying to hide. His 'friends' had turned on him in the presence of older kids, by kicking him and throwing his coat in the field with the cows and calling him names. I don't think I have to say how completely heartbreaking this is to hear as a mother. He has increasingly been singled out for teasing within the past month, which seems to be increasing in proportion to the facial ticks he's developed-- and these seem to become worse with anxiety. Children often outgrow minor ticks so I want to stay positive about that. So now we wait and see.


Mel said...

Your story is my story. I have a son (18) with AS who was diagnosed at 15. I know what it is like to feel like you have been dropped into the bottom of a well. I would cry with my son everytime I picked him up from school with bruises on his arms and legs from bullies. I homeschooled him all through highschool and he is happy, social and no longer anxiety ridden. However, college is coming up and we will start a new roller coaster ride. Good luck on your journey. You are not alone and there are so many wonderful resources available now that I did not have back then. Check out Dr. Tony Atwoods Books. They were a big help to me.

Mary said...

Thanks for your kind comments Mel. We are still awaiting the referral but I have to say that I worry tremendously about the future, particularly the high school years. My husband's uncle who is now in his 50's with aspbergers still faces taunting from young people and I find that such a disgrace, but what can we do. Life is hard when you are 'normal' enough, but when you don't quite fit the mold, then I imagine its even more difficult. I will check out those books. Thanks and good luck to your son with college.