Tracking Boggarts in the Woods

First day of the school holidays and the day started with a meltdown over the suggestion that we go out for a walk, because it was a spontaneous suggestion and my son had other plans (sitting at the computer all day). Eventually we managed to get out of the house and head up to Ogden Water Nature Reserve to take in the Boggart Festival. Ogden is a few miles away, free (except for the ice cream van in the parking lot) and has two main paths for a long or short walk around the resevoir and woods, with various paths leading off and around the main ones.

     "Each year the fairy folk meet within the Ogden woodlands to feast and make merry on nuts and berries.  Unfortunately the Boggarts tend to over indulge on the Blackberry wine and forget to hide before falling asleep. The rising sun turns them to stone, allowing us to catch sight of these rare creatures.There are many different types of boggarts to find at Ogden.  Some are small and well hidden up in trees (not much bigger than the palm of your hand). Look on walls, bridges and even on the roofs of buildings." -from http://www.ogdenwater.org.uk/index.php

It didn't take long before the kids were competing to see who could find the next boggart first, and I was amazed at their impeccable eyesight. And with the added incentive of a prize for finding all the boggarts (we won't know if we had the correct amount until the festival ends in August) two hours walking through the woods passed without notice.

Sunny Monday

Summer seems to have arrived at last and I am hoping it remains as lovely as it has been this weekend. We had a great weekend at home! The kids enjoyed the annual village fayre, and we had a barbeque at a friends afterwards, and then yesterday in the park! Of course this meant we ended up feeding half the village kids, but we didn't mind, and they didn't seem to mind eating veggie burgers!

We set off yesterday for Shibden Park in Halifax, but couldn't get into the overflowing car park, so we ended up at Manor Heath also in Halifax, which I really like. The park has a great victorian paddling pool which unfortunately has not been filled so far this year, due to health and safety regs, which are really getting over the top and ruining much enjoyment in the process.

The kids did enjoy the indoor jungle experience (which is free, but sometimes boring), as the butterflies were a plenty, and the terrapins and fish were all making grand appearances. I really like this part of Halifax (Saville Park area) with its wide boulevards and victorian homes, it reminds me in some ways of areas of Chicago, that also have wide boulevards through the parks. And today, well the best part of today was that I passed my driving test! I am now the proud holder of a full UK driving license!! And the downside, my dd has a tummy bug that's been making the rounds!

Birthday girl

It was an eventful weekend in our house with my daughter celebrating her second birthday! I also attended a day-long aromatherapy massage course which was the first time I have actually been away from my daughter for an entire day. But as I am moving toward a new career/life path, into holistic healing, which has certainly been in my realm of ideas for many, many years, this course provided the perfect test. It was a good course, hard work for sure, especially considering I've been suffering with a dull headache, neck ache for the entire week, which could be related to the fact that my son had tonsillitis this week (I no longer have my tonsils).

Despite the illness, the weekend ended on a good note with a decadent chocolate cake surrounded by rose petals. We also took advantage of the sunny (yes I said SUNNY) day and went for a walk with the grandparents, and then a brief stint in the pub (with kids, hence brief).

Quiz night first

Last night was a first... the first time my husband and I have been out together alone in 7 years. We may have had one night somewhere before my daughter was born, but I honestly can't remember it, and doubt it very much. We never wanted to leave our son with a stranger, and family options for babysitting never seem to materialise, but last night, we finally managed it.

A local teenager has become our babysitter for the first time, and last night we went to our pub quiz night. This works out well since its only around the corner, and the kids are already asleep at that time.. or supposed to be. Of course they didn't want this arrangement to happen and took great pains to botch up our plans!!

In the end though it worked out well, we finished second in the quiz and had a great night with me finally meeting some of the neighbors!

Life rolls on

Life has settled back into a routine once again, now that school is back in session. Just over a week after my daughter damaged her teeth, she's looking much better and although the damage is bad, it doesn't look quite as bad as it did. The dentist is convinced she'll recover, and if not, the offending teeth can be removed as she gets a bit older. Its interesting how my mind now sees life as 'before and after'. Before she smashed her teeth, and after. The 'before' pictures at Christmas, all big smiles, and knowing that a week after that, it all changed. Its as if some giant shift in the earth happened within our own home, moving us to a place of definite no going back. Alot of people have said 'its just her baby teeth' not to worry, but the incident is more than that for me. For her, well I only hope when she's seven, her teeth come in normally and she won't hate me for life!!!

And yet despite it all, we've relaxed a bit more now and my little girl is still happy, smiling, eating and not showing signs of pain anymore. So life goes on. Its utterly amazing how resilient children are, both in body and mind.

My son wasn't excited about going back to school, but the first day back went without incident, surprisingly well, in fact. During his time at home, his tics seemed to nearly all disappear (supporting my hodgepodge theory that school might actually be the source of the problem..) so we'll see how that changes now that school has resumed.

Manic Monday

I really don't like Mondays, I was going to say I hate them, but then that's a pretty strong word--especially for a day of the week. Mondays are more stressful overall, getting my son to school, getting to steiner group with my daughter (i need to change that day).. which we didn't today. With my son buzzing about the house either having a constant monologue or asking me a million questions, even after I've said not to talk to me while I'm getting ready, as I can't concentrate on what I need to get ready, and trying to get my daughter dressed, things just get forgotton--mostly my things.

After telling my son about 10 times to get your shoes on, go downstairs, get your coat on, by the time I'm out the door, I'm exhausted. We walk about a 3/4 of a mile, so that's a good time to calm down, except I'm walking, all wound up (even though I know I shouldn't be because: my son can't help that sound comes out of him 24/7, that he's rather self-centred and can't understand why I want some quiet time to get ready, or that he is probably more anxious because its Monday and its back to school), and dragging behind me, chuttering away-loudly, is my son.

And so after arriving late for school, half way to the bus my daughter asks for a drink, and I realise I've forgotton it. I also realise I've forgotton my money and look down to make sure I haven't left my trousers at home too. So its back home and too frustrated to do much of anything, I'm writing. I'm calm now, and of course feeling sad that my compassion for my son has failed me once again. I always manage a hug and the 'have a good day' even if its through gritted teeth, but I know he can feel it when I'm just not happy-- even if he can't adjust his behaviour accordingly. When I think about homeschooling, I feel all this mess would disappear, except that I worry about the time for my daughter and whether she'd get any for herself and if I can stay sane. It certainly doesn't help that I've always been one for a quiet morning, not talking if I can help it.. I read somewhere that ASD kids tend to be loud.. and that is certainly the case in our house, a constant level of noise that frays my nerves, until I contribute to it with my own shouting, something else that never use to be 'characteristic' of me! Argh...

Another Steiner Monday

Well it was the Steiner toddler group again this morning, and I didn't feel quite so peaceful and happy. Having been worked up by my son this morning, it didn't set the tone very well. Of course its not entirely his fault, a good portion of it resides with the way I react to it. The moon is passing through Jupiter and I guess by tommorrow it should all settle down once again and I'm hoping I'll feel something like myself again.

This by the way, is our leaf banner that we did last week. My darling daughter didn't want to sit very still today, and sometimes I find I have a real conflict in my head about any sort of 'education' initiative for toddlers. Although Steiner himself advocated play as a means of education, the structure of Steiner education is not entirely all about play. They play for a bit but in the rhythmn of things, they are supposed to also wind down and sit for a story near the end of the session. It seems that most of the kids can do this... not mine, at least not for all of it. But she gets tired which also seems to make it harder to sit still (why do kids do that- i.e. tired but won't give in)

So I'm wondering if this is even too structured an approach for her. Everything just seems so organised. I thought the most relaxed approach was what we did back in Chicago when my son was a toddler. A group of four of us got together with our kids and simply rotated houses each week. The kids played in the comfort of a home and we felt relaxed by the safe and uncomplicated surroundings. The issue of toy ownership sometimes came up, but mostly everything went ok. I don't really have any friends here to do that with, and people seem to meet outside their homes in some designated 'playgroup' building. It seems to require alot more effort. Ah well, can I just stay holed up in my house until they are grown??? [A cold November morning on the canal.]

Birth charts and life plans

With all my recent heavy feelings and unbelievably (even to me) irritable attitude, I have added the Astrologer to the top of my blogroll, so I can read it more daily to gain more understanding. Astrology has been something I've been interested for as long as I can remember, and yet my delving into it has come in dribs and drabs. I have my own internal understanding of it, but have never really sat down to master it.

I mention this as I have been thinking alot about my son's birth chart. We did this when he was born (seven years ago) on Astrodienst and have used books and other more knowledgeable people to interpret it. One of things that I found troubling was that he is going to have major hurdles in his love/relationship sector. We originally thought this might have to do with the fact that he is a Leo Dragon, a very strong personality type, and not everyone's cup of tea. It would seem now though, that it may run deeper than that. In fact, the Leo Dragon may be a blessing as it gives him strength and self-assuredness in the face of what may be a somewhat debilitating condition.

I took him to the doctor today, seeking a referral on the recommendation of his school. Its not a big surprise really, and I am slowly coming to the realisation that we may have been in some denial. He will be meeting with an educational psychology team to determine if/and/or what is wrong and what can be done to help. My feeling is that it could be Asperberger's syndrome. Although he is not severe, it would make some sense as there is someone in the family with this already. We never made the connection before, or if we did, we submerged the thought. It is possible that its a combination of things. I have considered ADHD, which his teacher last year thought might be a possibility, as there are some elements of that. From what I've read, ADHD often can occur alongside something like Aspergers. It also affects boys at a rate of 10:1.

I believe we unspokenly resisted the idea of an assessment for a long time. We didn't want 'labels' and restrictions or drugs. And who wants to think of their child as having a problem anyway? Over the weekend though, my son came in from playing at the park and was in tears, which he was trying to hide. His 'friends' had turned on him in the presence of older kids, by kicking him and throwing his coat in the field with the cows and calling him names. I don't think I have to say how completely heartbreaking this is to hear as a mother. He has increasingly been singled out for teasing within the past month, which seems to be increasing in proportion to the facial ticks he's developed-- and these seem to become worse with anxiety. Children often outgrow minor ticks so I want to stay positive about that. So now we wait and see.

To market, to market..

In our attempt to lower our overall outgoings, avoid big supermarket chains and rely more on local shops and produce, we went to the market today, in Hebden Bridge. Its not a big market, but has all the fruit and veg we need, plus a fabulous cheese stall where I can now get a spicy mexicana cheese. I couldn't get motivated though to carry around a pumpkin for the rest of the day.. so maybe next week.

The rest of the day involved a visit to Flying Saucers paint/pottery cafe. This was our first visit, mainly to design some Christmas presents for the grandparents. I have to say it was an expensive outing that we won't be doing again for awhile. It was fun though, and my son did a mug for his grandma and an alien for himself. I did a mug with my daughter's handprint on it. She mostly wandered around 'chatting' to everyone. And although its meant to be relaxing, I would say that with a 21 month old toddler in tow, its a little nerve-wracking with all the breakable and expensive pottery on display. We pick up our treasures next week after they have been fired in the kiln.

Making and baking..

I can't believe I have never actually made bread before now. I seem to have some vague recollection of perhaps attempting it many many moons ago, but can't really recall it. So with the school break it seemed like the quintessential thing to do with the kids.

Well with one child only. We did it while the little toddler slept! Sneaky I know, but I thought the first time was going to be enough of a trial without little toddler hands slinging about as well. As it turned out, it went really smoothly and the mess was easily cleaned. Although it doubled its size before going into the oven, it came out a bit hmm, doughy. We were not prepared with a bread tin or anything, so it wasn't shaped too well. Nevertheless, it was a seeded loaf and very very tasty. I usually avoid bread due to bloating, but was told that fresh baked bread with wild yeast and no additives does not cause bloating.
So far I don't notice any, and the bread was tucked into before I had a chance to photo the end result! But you can still see the steam rising off it. Yum, I think a bread machine may be on the cards...

Hebden Bridge Kids Artfest

This was the last weekend of the Hebden Bridge Arts Festival and Saturday was the kids artfest. Holme street art centre was the venue for the creative expression, or chaos, however you want to put it.

It was nice to see that in this age of increasingly complicated technology, the kids could be completely enthralled by a very simple stage performance. The performance of Storm in a Teacup done with two guys, a couple of masks and a seagull puppet, combined with music, sounds and of course humour, was very entertaining.


In the centre of the big room was a pile of dirt and plants and pots for the kids to experience a bit of gardening... and there was face painting, all manner of craft making, including tile work, and a wall mural [a piece of you] that was created by everyone attending that day.


It did get a bit stuffy inside though, and thankfully a sunny spell lasted long enough to go for a walk along the canal. My daughter enjoyed seeing the canalboats and watching them manually open the slip.

Next month when my friends (Nikki and Kathie!!) from Chicago come to visit, we may actually get a ride on one of these, which would be great considering I've been here nearly three years and have yet to do it!

If "it takes a village", then where's that village?

It takes a village to raise a child, wasn't that the title of Hillary Clinton's book??
"One in ten children have a mental health disorder to a "clinically significant" level, new research suggests.
Studies carried out by leading children's charity NCH found a 100 per cent increase in the prevalence of emotional problems and conduct disorders among young people since the 1930's" -that was from an ITN news report today about children and education in this country. Naturally, Children's Minister Beverly Hughes disagreed with this finding.

I am increasingly torn about schooling, since my son started last autumn, at age 6.. I had kept him home until then, but when my daughter was born, we felt it was the right time to send him. He hadn't made any friends in the village until he started school (and neither did I!).

I am reluctant to leave the 'community' that I have become a part of since he started school, not knowing whether they will still be there if we decide to revert to our old ways! I found that when I was homeschooling, acquaintances either said very little about it, or managed a supportive sentence or two. When we switched to school, and mentioned our past homeschooling, it became clear that most people didn't think it was a very appropriate path. Not driving, I had a hard time getting out on daytrips and didn't have a really local, active home-ed group. Despite this, now that my son has made friends with local kids, I feel more inclined to bring him back home. He has become increasingly argumentative at home, and somewhat sad too, and he frequently tells me that he doesn't feel the teacher listens to him, especially when he's being picked on. His eating habits have plummeted and there are days when his entire lunch returns home in his lunchbag. He has said they rush the kids at lunchtime, which has been denied by the school, though other parents have felt this to be true.

I have found the teacher and head to be rather defensive, and at times quite dismissive, and his class is frequently left with substitutes, which surely must be disruptive for the routine. I've been browsing about the home-ed sites again, and some new blogs (new to me) like Gill's, looking for inspiration. I find my thoughts saying if we just had a larger house, then it would be better for homeschooling, or what about me going back to work to earn more money, for the larger house, for the homeschooling...

This is a rather small village and I am aware of the fact that we are just now settling in (after nearly two years) and I don't want to exclude ourselves. And yet, I want what's best for my children, never mind what I'm expected to do. Apparently one of my son's classmates was taken out earlier this year, to be homeschooled. He doesn't live in the village though.

I came across a book title on Amazon It Takes The Whole Damn Village by Sandra Barnhouse which made me chuckle for sure, and I may have to buy it! From the book:

"We must close the classrooms, everywhere, public, private, or otherwise. Classrooms are unnatural, artificial places of child apartheid, and hold our society hostage from its potential to make the world better." - Sandra Barnhouse